Pieces (1982) aka Mil Gritos Tiene la Noche

 Pieces (1982)

Artwork by Joshua Kelly 

  Pieces (1982) is exactly what you think it is, a hyperviolent Giallo-style slasher film with moments of absurdity and sleazy vibes to complement its trashy quality. It's a film so-bad-it's-good, full of subpar acting, atrocious dubbing, and scenes that have nothing to do with the plot and only serve to pad the film's runtime. It's the movie equivalent of junk food; it's not high-quality stuff, but it's delicious to eat regardless. It's the definition of a guilty pleasure, giving us a good time in exchange for a few laughs, even if the film itself isn't a good movie. Nevertheless, it lives up to the promise of its tagline as a slasher film full of blood, breasts, and sleaze. 

"Well?" "It stinks!"

  Pieces (1982) is a slasher film set in Boston where co-eds of a college are stalked by a killer who aims to create a jigsaw puzzle out of their body parts. In a co-production between Spain, the USA, and Puerto Rico, the film was directed by Juan Piquer Simón. He is best known for Slugs (1988) and The Pod People (1983), the E.T. ripoff famously lampooned on MST3K. The film stars Christopher George as Lt. Bracken, a detective searching for the killer to apprehend him, with his partner Sgt. Holden (Frank Braña) and undercover cop Mary Riggs (Lynda Day). The film also stars Ian Sera as Kendall, Jack Taylor as Professor Brown, Edmund Purdom as The Dean, and Paul L. Smith as Willard. 

 The film became a cult favorite among drive-in enthusiasts, with Splat Pack director Eli Roth hailing it as his favorite movie of all time. Much like the hyperviolent Italian movies, Pieces (1982) had released under a dozen different titles. These titles included such gems as Le Sadique á la Tronconeuse ["The Sadist with the Chainsaw"], Mutilator Man, O Terror da Serra Eléctrica ["The Terror of the Chainsaw"], Maniac, and Puzzle des Grauens ["Puzzle of Horror"]. And to add the finishing touch to this sleazy, sugary sundae, the film became a "video nasty" after it was confiscated by the BBFC under Section 3 of the Obscene Publications Act 1959. 

  Pieces (1982) has all the reasons why critics like Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel denounced slasher films. The 80s were full of these films, each one trying to outdo one another with how much violence and sex they could get away with. The film features high levels of violence, nudity, crummy dialogue, and absurd moments of unintentional hilarity. Pieces (1982) is similar to various other slasher films released during the time, including the likes of Bloody Moon (1981), The Mutilator (1984), and Absurd (1981). Even with these similarities, Pieces (1982) is memorable in ways you cannot imagine, even if they are the wrong reasons.

  Right at the beginning, it becomes clear Pieces (1982) does not want to waste time on crafting a story. It wants to get to the murder set-pieces and, by God, it will deliver the goods to those who come seeking bloody thrills. The film opens with a boy assembling a puzzle while obvious ADR plays over the scene, his mother coming into his room to check on him. We then see the puzzle the boy is assembling, an image of a naked woman doing a pose (Jesus Christ...). This prompts the mother to hit him twice on the head, grab the box, and slam it to the mirror, which plays again in slow-motion for some reason. As she searches his trunk for more pornographic things to find and destroy, her son appears behind her and kills her with an ax. 

  The absurdity is not limited to just this opening scene, as we see more of it playout for the rest of the movie. We jump ahead to forty years later, where a college girl is skating and smacks into a rectangular mirror carried by two workers. This event somehow triggers our killer to start his killing spree, first by witnessing the event and cutting back to the mother smashing the mirror. We later see the same college girl lie down in the grass, studying before being promptly murdered in broad daylight with a chainsaw. This scene is absurd to the highest degree, seeing how the killer had the brilliant idea of killing someone in broad daylight, but I digress from further discussions. 

  The film then gets to our "characters," who are 20 something-year-olds playing college students who are extremely horny. One of these college girls comments how the best sex is on a water bed, all the while she asks her professor where nipples are placed on a woman. In the next scene, we are introduced to our "hero," Kendall, who receives an invitation from a female classmate to have sex at the indoor pool. This goes about as you'd expect it to be, with the windows making it obvious it's nighttime and a saxophone playing as she swims topless. The killer arrives soon after, grabbing a pool skimmer and trapping her with it, dragging her to the surface and killing her. (Don't ask, for there are no answers.) 

  The film introduces Willard (Paul L. Smith), the college groundskeeper and the most obvious red herring the world has ever seen. Just by his look and demeanor, the director wants us to think he's the killer, even though it's clear he's not the killer. If the actor looks familiar, that's because he was Bluto in Popeye (1980) and The Beast Rabban in David Lynch's Dune (1984). He stumbles upon the remains of the swimmer, where he goes to leave and runs into the police. Rather than explain the situation, he gets into a hilarious fight with the entire police squad, with Kendall breaking a chair over him in a comedic fashion. 

  The characters in this movie are generally terrible or useless, with the term "character" used loosely to describe them. Most of them are just there to be a statistic to provide the film the gory kills it needs. Kendall, in particular, is the loosest definition this film has for a protagonist. He meanders through the screen, going from one scene to the other to get the plot going. The only characters who do anything are Lt. Bracken, Sgt. Randy Holden, and Dean. These characters are what give the movie the minimum of what you can call a plot. They spend most of the film investigating the murders while undercover cop Mary Riggs enters the university to catch the killer. 

  Pieces (1982) has the most egregious use of padding I have seen in a film. The film is only 85 minutes long, and director Juan Piquer Simon goes to great lengths to ensure the film reaches the standard runtime the film can get away with. The movie is full of scenes that shamelessly pad out the runtime, with some of the scenes don't even make sense within the context of the plot itself. One of these scenes involves Mary getting surprised attacked by a Kung Fu teacher before Kendall intercepts him. He later apologizes for his mistake, complete with the stereotypical Asian accent, before leaving the movie. Other scenes of shameless padding include a dance class sequence, a tennis match between Mary and a student, the second victim swimming in the pool, and a random scene of a classmate shouting, "Casanova!" before blowing a raspberry at Kendall. 

  Believe it or not, Pieces (1982) has an alternate version, which was included in the Grindhouse Releasing blu-ray from 2016. The alternate cut, titled Mil Gritos Tiene la Noche ["The Night Has a Thousand Screams"], features different opening credits, a piano-oriented score by Librado Pastor, slightly extended scenes of the killer assembling the nude woman puzzle, and minor dialogue scenes. The film features a score by CAM, comprised of Stelvio Cipriani, Claudio Simonetti, Fabio Frizzi, and Carlo Maria Cordio. The score comprises stock music taken from various Italian films, these being Un'ombra Nell'ombra ["A Shadow in the Shadow"], 7 ragazze di classe ["7 Classy Girls"], Taxi Girl, and Absurd (1981). I preferred the score by CAM over Librado Pastor's score, mainly because the movie itself is trashy, and the score fits the sleazy vibe of the film. 

 Seeing how Pieces (1982) is a hyper-violent film, I can define how violent the film is by my definition of a gory film. By my standards, Pieces (1982) is a moderately violent movie, not as gory as other video nasties I've seen, like Zombie (1979) and Beyond the Darkness (1979), the latter of which never made it to the list. The film delivers a plethora of chainsaw mayhem laced with impressive gore effects and the complementary nudity of slasher films. The movie throws many ideas to the screen, trying to fit something to pad out the runtime to feature-length. It's stupid, sleazy, and dumb as fuck, but damn, I would be lying if I said I didn't have fun watching it. 

That puzzle doesn't look too hard. 

  In the end, Pieces (1982) is a wildly entertaining slasher flick, unapologetic with its gratuitous violence and sleazy nature. It's shamelessly padded with scenes that make no sense to the plot whatsoever and only elicit ridicule from its viewers. It's fun to watch with a group of friends to point and laugh at the bizarre moments and marvel at its brutal violence. It doesn't matter how much I tell you, as this is a movie you have to experience with your own eyes. And what makes this movie so special is quite simple: It's fucking Pieces, man! Go check it out for yourself to have a good time!

"Bastard!"

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